Dare Twelve: Putting up the white flag

While I had planed to wait until day twenty to reveal my secret life of dares to James, I decided yesterday that telling him sooner was the right thing to do.  He felt like I was hiding something from him, and even though I was only hiding something good, I did not want him to mistake my stealthness for distance.  Instead of pushing him away by continuing secretly, I decided to pull him towards me by letting him in on the blog and the dares.  His entire attitude changed for the better as he took in all the things that I had been doing for him because I loved him.  Now instead of an unknowing participant, he is now my support and partner on the dare.

Interestingly, I never thought about the fact that telling him could have been a completion of yesterday's dare.  Yesterday's dare was to "demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse.  Tell them you are putting their preference first."  James and I were slightly disagreeing over things because of him not knowing what was going on, and I chose to give in.  Though letting him in on the secret was sort of a fulfillment of the dare, I still made an intentional effort to complete the dare later that day.

This Friday was date night for James and me.  We sometimes go out to eat or maybe catch a movie, but this Friday we were able to see a friend of ours perform in his band Back 2 Soul.  Then came the argument, I mean, the "unresolved discussion".  James and I could not agree on whether I would take Josiah with me to pick up the babysitter or if Josiah would stay with James at home while I went.  While neither one of us was greatly upset about the matter, we just could not resolve the issue.  I was ready to just take Josiah to make the issue disappear when James told me that I did not have to let him walk all over me just because of the dare.  He actually reminded me that I did still need to "give in" on an argument for the dare.  I told James that I would take Josiah and thanked him for reminding me about the dare.  With James knowing about the dare, I may have a few more challenges, but yesterday, James ended up reminding me about completing my dare without even knowing it.

The nature of love looks for ways to help the person I love rather than insisting upon winning every fight.  James did that by telling me that I did not have to let him walk all over me.  He was looking out for me and was less interested in having his way.  Then I was able to look out for him by taking Josiah with me and letting him get some things done without any interruptions.  Instead of looking at each issue as a competition, when we look out for each other and put up the white flag we end up both winning.  I am going to lift high my white flag as I begin to learn that taking care of James is taking care of us both.