Monday, December 1, 2014

Dare 2: Patience and Kindness

Dare 2: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness

I attempted Dare 2 on November 26th and was successful.  Before I had even read the book, I had already done many kind things for my husband that day.  We both speak the love language of Service, so we really do this one well.

However, I really need to make sure that he knows that I'm doing something not just to get it done or because it needs to get done, but because I am doing it purposely for him.  I think it's easy to believe after almost 9 years that we "just know" when something nice has been done for us.  Not so.  That was one of the worst things about year 7 for us.  We both assumed that we had already told each other things.

No matter how long you are married you will not be able to read each other's minds.  It's just not going to happen.

You have to tell him that you love him.

You have to massage his neck and tell him that you love him more.

You have to fix his favorite meal and tell him that you love him.

You have to tell him what an amazing dad he is and tell him that you love him for it.

You have to spend the afternoon with him even though you have other things to do . . . and tell him that you love him.

You have to find just the right gift and surprise him with it while telling him that you love him.

Love him in all five ways to love and never forget to tell him the words, "I love you."

Encouraging verses to achieve this goal . . .

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Proverbs 11:17
A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.

Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Peter 3:9
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Further Resources

5 Love Language Website -
5 Love Language Test -
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts -
The 5 Love Languages Men's Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts -