tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91799904464585024162024-03-12T19:37:24.044-05:00Dare 2 LoveI am doing The Love Dare . . . again! My goal is to encourage myself toward in loving and respecting my husband in a more godly way. Feel free to read along as I make it through this endeavor!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-79355266799529851942014-12-01T09:00:00.000-06:002014-12-01T09:00:07.450-06:00Dare 2: Patience and Kindness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcz0RPYVao_DnlqJlJuHoUYRxspKrRwHDjM00q2P0mD8wKSiHLDIzuUnT81U6ce-3rHFlWfHtexVK2ZHf6xVVtyXDO_532vhfkYyjJ4R60OHG3uZoKU7ZYJXz4M9e6D1UhIiZrnqDvp2M/s1600/Dare2Love+-+Dare+2+-+Kindness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcz0RPYVao_DnlqJlJuHoUYRxspKrRwHDjM00q2P0mD8wKSiHLDIzuUnT81U6ce-3rHFlWfHtexVK2ZHf6xVVtyXDO_532vhfkYyjJ4R60OHG3uZoKU7ZYJXz4M9e6D1UhIiZrnqDvp2M/s1600/Dare2Love+-+Dare+2+-+Kindness.jpg" /></a></div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Dare 2: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness</h2>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I attempted Dare 2 on November 26th and was successful. Before I had even read the book, I had already done many kind things for my husband that day. We both speak the love language of Service, so we really do this one well.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">However, I really need to make sure that he knows that I'm doing something not just to get it done or because it needs to get done, but because I am doing it purposely for him. I think it's easy to believe after almost 9 years that we "just know" when something nice has been done for us. Not so. That was one of the worst things about year 7 for us. We both assumed that we had already told each other things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">No matter how long you are married you will not be able to read each other's minds. It's just not going to happen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have to tell him that you love him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have to massage his neck and tell him that you love him more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have to fix his favorite meal and tell him that you love him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have to tell him what an amazing dad he is and tell him that you love him for it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have to spend the afternoon with him even though you have other things to do . . . and tell him that you love him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have to find just the right gift and surprise him with it while telling him that you love him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Love him in all five ways to love and never forget to tell him the words, "I love you."</span><br />
<h2>
Encouraging verses to achieve this goal . . .</h2>
Ephesians 4:32<br />Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.<br /><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Proverbs 11:17<br />
A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Proverbs 31:26<br />
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">1 Corinthians 13:4-7<br />
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or
rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it
does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all
things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">1 Peter 3:9<br />
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary,
bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h2>
Further Resources</h2>
5 Love Language Website - <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/">http://www.5lovelanguages.com/</a><br />
5 Love Language Test - <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/">http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/</a><br />
<span class="a-size-large" id="productTitle">The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts - <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156">http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156</a></span><br />
<span class="a-size-large"><span class="a-size-large" id="productTitle">The 5 Love Languages Men's Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts - <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Mens-Edition/dp/0802473164/">http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Mens-Edition/dp/0802473164/</a></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-19821912031364641752014-11-30T15:14:00.000-06:002014-11-30T15:14:34.328-06:00Dare 1: Patience and a Tamed Tongue<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTp1n0CkBXmc1XUxnHj1c8vfmk6Euzfz7dCMe1KsVTAIokMX3wcw2-Njl2j3JJhpdwGQ3HjGlwQCe_dl3HwcT5kZAWV701NycixPARUvDw_nF5IGAyrRT2lcTwWEaRSWVgFDcMhd9eZn8/s1600/Dare2Love+-+Day+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTp1n0CkBXmc1XUxnHj1c8vfmk6Euzfz7dCMe1KsVTAIokMX3wcw2-Njl2j3JJhpdwGQ3HjGlwQCe_dl3HwcT5kZAWV701NycixPARUvDw_nF5IGAyrRT2lcTwWEaRSWVgFDcMhd9eZn8/s1600/Dare2Love+-+Day+1.jpg" /></a></div>
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Dare 1 - to resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all<br />
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I started this dare on November 25th and I still haven't been able to really it get down. I have been saying LESS negative things to my husband, but I still haven't nailed saying NOTHING negative to him. Habits are hard to break.<br />
<br />
Rather than practicing patience with my husband and my son, I've been in the habit of letting them have it when I see a negative problem, trait, or when they do something negative that affects me. I really don't know why I have begun to think that they deserve my wrath. They don't.<br /><br />If I can have undeserved grace from God, then they should receive undeserved grace from me. I MUST practice patience.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Encouraging verses to achieve this goal . . .</strong></span><br />
<br />
Galatians 6:9<br />
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.<br />
<br />
James 1:19<br />
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;<br />
<br />
Ephesians 4:1-3<br />
I therefore, <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29257A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29257A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup>a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29257B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29257B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>walk in a manner worthy of <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29257C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29257C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup>the calling to which you have been called, <span class="text Eph-4-2" id="en-ESV-29258">with all <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29258D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29258D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup>humility and <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29258E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29258E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup>gentleness, with <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29258F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29258F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup>patience, <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29258G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29258G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup>bearing with one another in love,</span> <span class="text Eph-4-3" id="en-ESV-29259">eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in <sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-29259H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-29259H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup>the bond of peace.</span><br />
<span class="text Eph-4-3"></span><br />
<span class="text Eph-4-3">Proverbs 21:23</span><br />
<span class="text Eph-4-3">Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. </span><br />
<span class="text Eph-4-3"></span><br />
<span class="text Eph-4-3">Proverbs 15:1</span><br />
<span class="text Eph-4-3">A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-73216669328267102482014-11-24T07:45:00.002-06:002014-11-24T07:45:44.918-06:00Repeating the DareIt has been over three years since I read the Love Dare and Dared 2 Love. I really enjoyed going through the book in 2011 and it strengthened my marriage. At the end of the dare, I had my Dare 2 Love blog printed in a book for my husband as a special memory.<br />
<br />
Since it's been three years since I read The Love Dare, I've changed a lot. I'm in a new location, I have new interests, I have new distractions, and sometimes I need that reminder to love my spouse.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Thus I begin again . . .</strong></div>
<strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJlYWS8tyZwtC5UGNYNRrCGCIyNUDjEKRrVfG-fCbvLeuhqs2Jgmo7UWsyve7inWmB6TUsKfDoCoX9aYB0peWKdq4wm3YuF1gNAYwXMURmRU8QNqGU057rhxjQ_W55MRq7aFzDnmEHJmw/s1600/love+dare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJlYWS8tyZwtC5UGNYNRrCGCIyNUDjEKRrVfG-fCbvLeuhqs2Jgmo7UWsyve7inWmB6TUsKfDoCoX9aYB0peWKdq4wm3YuF1gNAYwXMURmRU8QNqGU057rhxjQ_W55MRq7aFzDnmEHJmw/s1600/love+dare.jpg" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-65433880297005033432011-11-29T23:58:00.000-06:002011-11-29T23:58:14.580-06:00Dare Forty: Drum Roll Please!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSk1w-GyGNuRfXbevTRYeet5LxjoKVYJ7V4lxcRRCUVy5iOhCk2kyeLlWxSOc6LksItdVCROg9frlMc0vJUbg3DgtqHPSOFdf1OY2tBmpbKoeyKT5hd4mZGCfWkmwKcqBI1jy-dAM-Cjg/s1600/James+and+Me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSk1w-GyGNuRfXbevTRYeet5LxjoKVYJ7V4lxcRRCUVy5iOhCk2kyeLlWxSOc6LksItdVCROg9frlMc0vJUbg3DgtqHPSOFdf1OY2tBmpbKoeyKT5hd4mZGCfWkmwKcqBI1jy-dAM-Cjg/s320/James+and+Me.jpg" width="276" /></a>After intending to finish The Love Dare in the forty days around Valentine's Day . . . I have finished The Love Dare on the 29th of November! I don't really see the time expanse as a failure, because failing would have entailed rejecting the advice of the book and completely turning away from its list of dares. I didn't turn away . . . I just got a bit busy. Perhaps I will think of it as a delayed success.<br />
<br />
I have listed on this blog forty dares and forty thoughts that accompanied those forty dares. I have forty days that I spent specifically considering my marriage and my husband above many other things in life. I got to have fun, such as on <a href="http://dare2love4valentinesday.blogspot.com/2011/02/dare-seven-valentines-day-surprise-and.html">Valentine's Day</a>, and I got to be a little creative, such as in the blog <a href="http://dare2love4valentinesday.blogspot.com/2011/02/dare-eleven-i-cherish-you.html">I Cherish You</a>, and overall, I really think it was a great experience.<br />
<br />
What's really great about ending the Dare on this day is that I just found out James started the dare two days ago! Almost a year later, he's doing The Love Dare on his own. I couldn't make him and I couldn't nag him into doing it. Sure, I really wanted him to do it with me, but he would have done it begrudgingly before. Being on the receiving end of The Love Dare, I'm in heaven. Though it's tempting to make it hard on him, refer to the <a href="http://dare2love4valentinesday.blogspot.com/2011/02/first-dare.html">first dare</a>. I guess I'll behave myself!<br />
<br />
Words of the final dare, "write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God's eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate."<br />
<br />
The chapter expressed how the wedding vows are the words of a covenant. My husband and I are not in a contract that might bind with pen and paper even if the legal system might think so. James and I are in a covenant that is upheld through God's power, not our own. If we think we are the best couple ever and we'll never mess up, then we will mess up. If we are anything better than ordinary then it is through God's power alone.<br />
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I appreciate any of you who have visited my blog and supported me on this endeavour. I'm sure you thought I'd never finish! I did! I'm thinking about starting on another book to support our marriage, like Love & Respect or Power of a Praying Wife. Keep checking back . . . maybe I'll blog about that too!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-55325385877393671102011-11-15T17:44:00.000-06:002011-11-15T17:44:54.683-06:00Dare Thirty Nine: Love Never LosesThe Thirty Ninth dare states, "Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitemnt and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it."<br />
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Here's what I wrote:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI9XTdVEf4D0VV4ThEGdXZipqH8Ri24k1FVZEI9wKQOeQyPooNyCybIWYkL5L8VU2Wx2UtNOvGkvLmZgdygByE28jhvmnYiNGZdUCsW3fuoW6-yNnKMUqWgsmyE8zxPCS8FfpPxzX_eq0/s1600/img009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI9XTdVEf4D0VV4ThEGdXZipqH8Ri24k1FVZEI9wKQOeQyPooNyCybIWYkL5L8VU2Wx2UtNOvGkvLmZgdygByE28jhvmnYiNGZdUCsW3fuoW6-yNnKMUqWgsmyE8zxPCS8FfpPxzX_eq0/s640/img009.jpg" width="492" /></a></div><br />
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About the Chapter . . .<br />
Let me rephrase, true love never loses. God is love, God is the Word of God, so a marriage built on the Word of God is unshaken. We've all heard "Love never fails," but what does it really mean? What does it mean to fail? I'm looking it up, hold on . . .<br />
<br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 746px;"><colgroup><col style="mso-width-alt: 12946; mso-width-source: userset; width: 266pt;" width="354"></col><col style="mso-width-alt: 14336; mso-width-source: userset; width: 294pt;" width="392"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl66" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt; width: 266pt;" width="354"><strong><u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To fail is:</span></u></strong></td><td class="xl67" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; width: 294pt;" width="392"><strong><u><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Instead love is:</span></u></strong></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To lose strength: weaken</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To gain strength: reinforce</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To fade or die away</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To grow and flourish</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To stop functioning normally</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To get better, gain familiarity</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To fall short</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To make it together, succeed</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be or become absent or inadequate</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be always present or sufficient</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be unsuccessful</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be successful in the relationship</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To become insolvent</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be prosperous in marriage</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To disappoint the expectations or trust of</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To exceed the expectations or trust of</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To miss performing an expected service or function for</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To triumph in performing an expected service or function for</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be deficient in</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be abundant in</span></td></tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15pt;"><td class="xl65" height="20" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black; height: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To leave undone: neglect</span></td><td class="xl68" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px black;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To leave nothing undone: attend and care for</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Love never failing means loving them in spite of it all, no matter what.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-72408466205458778402011-08-25T14:35:00.001-05:002011-08-25T14:45:10.455-05:00Dare Thirty Eight: The Cinderella Concept<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSbNklUYbH6IkMqG_zKZ9wncjr7Pyvl9GWh5KJFLu7u1Go-aeCiEE6Vb7LkJBEAKt3guoZG8Rq4pMKKXhvvaaWWOV6qosYgccIt4jBMtXhylcpxVkXZEA6fisHF6F5MMzhJyZ0j9Zk504/s1600/Cinderella+DVD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="170" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSbNklUYbH6IkMqG_zKZ9wncjr7Pyvl9GWh5KJFLu7u1Go-aeCiEE6Vb7LkJBEAKt3guoZG8Rq4pMKKXhvvaaWWOV6qosYgccIt4jBMtXhylcpxVkXZEA6fisHF6F5MMzhJyZ0j9Zk504/s200/Cinderella+DVD.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture from my Cinderella DVD</td></tr>
</tbody></table>This dare is so challenging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize how truly selfish I am as I think about today’s dare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dare is for me to “Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But why am I supposed to be making <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">his</i> dreams come true? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> want to be Cinderella.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want my handsome prince to make <em>my</em> dreams come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want him to have his white horse (or maybe a white limo), a grandiose castle, and I want everything to be planned and go as planned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want him to make my dreams come true, all of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It gets worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my selfish Cinderella mindset, I do not want to worry about taking care of the prince!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want him to rub his own feet, fold his own socks, and pick up his plate after dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As for his dreams, I should be his dream, right?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I say this and you may laugh, but don’t many of us truly buy into this Cinderella Concept?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In our minds, we as women are to be his princess, his prize, his dream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His dreams, those that are not fulfilled by our very presence, are his problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, so it doesn’t always go this far, but you get my point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I get into the mindset that James needs to take care of me and make my dreams come true, but I leave his dreams out on the front porch getting cold (or in Mississippi getting ridiculously hot . . .).</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Granted my husband’s short term dreams change with the tide, but I need to pay attention to his dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he currently wants to better himself or the house in some way, I have to not only buy into that, but align myself to making it happen in any way I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he sets a goal for himself, I have to show my love for him by supporting him enough to do all I can to help him accomplish that goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His dreams need to be my dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not a prince and I’m not a princess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to look to each other to bring our dreams into reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He can’t call a castle servant to serve me dinner on command, and I can’t wave a magic wand and have the entire house clean in minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We each have to work out of love to bring about each others needs, wants, and dreams.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">His dreams are my concern.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not Cinderella nor am I a fairy tale princess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life does not live happily ever after without applying some elbow grease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband dreams of a wife that considers his wants as much as my own wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband dreams of having my respect him as much as I respect myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes if I don’t feel loved, I don’t respect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, love loves regardless of how I feel at the moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cannot just love him when I feel up to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His dreams are my concern.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Lately, I’ve been little Miss Cinderella.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have completely dismissed so many things that James has been asking me about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stupid things really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things that I could have stepped up to easily, if I had not had such a diva mindset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God set us on this earth to serve others, not ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must to set aside the Cinderella Concept and start making my husband’s dreams come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-89139816733183806792011-08-24T12:45:00.000-05:002011-08-24T12:45:04.442-05:00Dare Thirty Seven: Humble MeI have heard it said many times that “prayer is powerful.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me clarify, “A prayer to the God of creation is powerful.” If we truly believed that, then why is it often a last resort?<br />
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Today’s dare:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it's in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself."<br />
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Prayer is humbling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During prayer I have to let my guards down, to allow God to surround me, and I must recognize my need for God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dare asks me to start praying regularly with James.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Praying together seems to be significant to God because in Matthew 18:18-19 Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">must</b> get to agreeing with my husband in prayer about our marriage, our life, and our ministry.<br />
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God says knock and the door will be opened, seek and you will find, ask and it will be given to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In our marriage, I rarely knock, I rarely seek, and I rarely ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I want doors to be busted open within our marriage, I have to get to knocking!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I want to find the depths of love that God has for us in our marriage, I need to start seeking God in this area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I want to be given blessings in our marriage, I need to start asking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to start knocking, seeking, and asking so we can begin to have doors open, find that which was lost, and be given God’s blessings.<br />
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God decides to use us for his glory, humans being the agents of his hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a glorious responsibility!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayer is one of the ways that God uses us to change our world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayer changes lives!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want God to change my life; even more, I want Him to transform my life and marriage daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds; I believe that that applies to my marriage too!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God can transform my marriage into a new creation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we so often get caught up in thinking of marriage as a human institution that we forget that God has a divine plan for marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A transformed marriage consists of two transformed individuals who seek God’s will for their life and marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The marriage becomes a vessel for God to use to bless others and to change lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marriage is beautiful if we dedicate it to God in prayer.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">My Favorite Verses on Prayer:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">2 Chronicles 7:14, </span></b>(NIV1984)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Luke 11:9-10, (</span></b>NIV1984)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Psalm 141:2, </span></b>(NIV1984)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">“May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">James 5:15-16, </span></b>(NIV1984)</div>“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 3;"><b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Revelation 5:8, </span></b>(NIV1984)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">“And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.”</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-85635251871394119582011-08-22T10:33:00.000-05:002011-08-22T10:33:32.020-05:00Dare Thirty Six: Word of God Speak<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Today’s dare reminded me so much of the song by <place w:st="on"><city w:st="on">Mercy</city> <state w:st="on">Me.</state></place></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><em>Word of God Speak</em></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="text-decoration: none;"></span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I'm finding myself at a loss for words</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And the funny thing is it's okay</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The last thing I need is to be heard</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">But to hear what You would say</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Word of God speak</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Would You pour down like rain</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Washing my eyes to see</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Your majesty</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">To be still and know</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">That You're in this place</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Please let me stay and rest</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">In Your holiness </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Word of God speak</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I'm finding myself in the midst of You</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Beyond the music, beyond the noise</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">All that I need is to be with You</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And in the quiet hear Your voice</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I'm finding myself at a loss for words</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">And the funny thing is it's okay</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Find more at Mercyme.org</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When am I going to fully realize that the Word of God is alive in me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bread of life is vital to my existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need God’s word to fill me up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I run around starved and spiritually emaciated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many Christians spiritually look like the children from other countries shown in ads for Feed the Children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bread and water of life is not optional for God’s children . . . it is literally life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The Bible, the very Word of God, is so important for my marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The <place w:st="on"><placetype w:st="on">kingdom</placetype> of <placename w:st="on">God</placename></place> must reign in my marriage!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much clearer can God be on this matter?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33, NIV).</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The dare for today was, “Commit to reading the Bible every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus is the rock and we must build the foundation of our marriage on Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think of the song, “all other ground is sinking sand.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Let me tell you right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The enemy does not want my marriage to be on solid ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I write this blog . . . as we seek after God’s will for our life . . . James and I have been under attack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been arguing more lately over insignificant things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we don’t cling to the rock, we will be in sinking sand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is sufficient for us in times of trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are reading this, please keep us in your prayers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are more than happy for others to invite God into our situation and for God’s hand to be upon our marriage in a mighty way.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” – James 1:22</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-25434344869682667922011-08-19T13:27:00.000-05:002011-08-19T13:27:04.427-05:00Dare Thirty Five: From Isolation to Community<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I make a mistake quite often in my marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume that my marriage is my business and that keeping others out of our trials is natural.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I share anything, it is often out of frustration and eventually maybe out of desperation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blogging about the Love Dare has been a small change in the openness level about my marriage, but just because I am blogging into cyberspace does not mean I am interacting with specific individuals about the joys and trials of my marriage.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The truth? My marriage is in isolation.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">This chapter of the Love Dare is about accountability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It challenges me to “Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and living with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While that should be easy to do, my husband and I do not have a strong relationship with any other Christian couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ouch!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I just admit that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know other couples in our church, great couples in our church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, we have been too busy to really devote ourselves to getting to know other couples.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The Bible tells us about accountability in Hebrews 3:13 “Encourage one another day after day . . .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James and I cannot be encouraged if we are not around anyone who knows what is going on in our lives and marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have friends and James has friends, but so far, our marriage has been our business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe we actually shy away from that level of deepness with others because they might see that we are human.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh wait, we are all human . . . rats.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Upon this realization comes a responsibility to change for the glory of God by the power of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize that if I remain unmoved and apathetic to our current state of isolation I am actually putting up a wall in an area where God can touch our marriage and lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is the only one who can take down the walls that James and I have built.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to let people in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even more so, we must actually seek relationships with other couples rather than pretending that it is okay to go it alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Healthy conviction, advice, and encouragement need not come from a book, but instead they can come from healthy relationships between couples who are following God with all that they are.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-39525918418186531812011-08-02T12:50:00.001-05:002011-08-02T12:53:25.277-05:00Dare Thirty Four: What is true?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLlIXqXt9hiNtxFXLvRS3PsRwHdFA7_rjuiNX0AflVWKw14AtxVeetTqXhQBZ2_sRsCKQeGBIWkvTASnLePwkYbVYvopusrj7b4oPpLH4n6aTqZll2NmH9ZEJ4weW9iGCrbJkPN4cK51Q/s1600/IMG_0703.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLlIXqXt9hiNtxFXLvRS3PsRwHdFA7_rjuiNX0AflVWKw14AtxVeetTqXhQBZ2_sRsCKQeGBIWkvTASnLePwkYbVYvopusrj7b4oPpLH4n6aTqZll2NmH9ZEJ4weW9iGCrbJkPN4cK51Q/s200/IMG_0703.jpg" t$="true" width="133" /></a></div>In 1 Corinthians 13:6, it says that love "does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." I hardly think that unrighteousness is a consideration in today's society, much less truth. Marriages are built on "let's give it a shot" and husbands are thought of as the silly little man that is laughed at in every sitcom on television. Is that real? Is that true? According to the verse, love is based on real truth that has nothing to do with unrighteousness. I'm in it for real life and real love.<br />
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This dare has challenged me because while I hope to be upstanding, I don't go out of my way to rejoice with the truth. Dare Thirty Four asks me to, "Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today." Wow! Intentionally rejoicing with the truth . . . with righteousness. Applauding good character, godliness. What a refreshing thought!<br />
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I often praise my husband on his leadership ability and his physical strength. I applaud his cooking ability. I definitely tell him how daggone smart he is. Sometimes I forget that more importantly than all these things is his strength of character, his integrity, and his genuine heart.<br />
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God has made James a person who stands by what is right even when everyone else says that breaking the rules is alright. He rarely bends the rules and even less often does he break rules. His integrity is outstanding. Forget how excellent a cook James is, his upright stance is worth rejoicing! I can praise my husband for his character.<br />
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Another thing that James is amazing at is being a father. I was not privileged to have a father while growing up and seeing James act as a good father to my son means the world to me. He gets to represent to my son what a father is, so when my little guy grows up he will understand that God as our Father is an amazing God who will take care of our needs, teach us, and guide our steps. I do rejoice that James is the best father my son could have.<br />
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The truth is that James is an amazing man that God has brought into my life as my husband. The truth is that James is a wonderful father and a man of integrity. I rejoice in the truth. James will always be this person even in human mistakes. I reject the lies that make me feel that James might let me down or will not live up to my expectations and rather I accept the truth of who God made James to be. Our mistakes can never remove the truth of who God made us to be. My mistakes make me no less of the true person that God intends. Sin is still sin, but as a Christian, it does not represent the truth but rather lies. When we follow God's plan we are living in the truth, while when we are following our own way we are living in a world of lies. Real life is God's plan. The truth is worth rejoicing!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-74878560129877088272011-07-29T14:09:00.000-05:002011-07-29T14:09:00.363-05:00Dare Thirty Three: Team SpiritHave you ever known a spouse that acted like their counterpart was a burden, a hassle, and the person holding them back in life? This is normally accompanied by a list of their faults and an eye roll at their shortcomings. However, the spouse that treats their mate this way is just as much a failure! Marriage is about standing in the gap for your love.<br />
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The dare for today is about completing one another. Basically, the chapter expresses that man and wife are to work together and blossom in the areas where the other person doesn't. The husband might be a better cook, but the wife might be better at the laundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wife might be better at finances, but the husband might be better at taking care of maintenance issues. Each person has their strengths and weaknesses and works to balance the other one out and work as a team.<br />
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I love the verse provided in this chapter of The Love Dare, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."<br />
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So back to the first example, how many of you know spouses who kick their counterpart when they are down, tear them up in their shortcomings, and rip them apart with words, actions, and gossip? Not only do I know plenty, I have been and sometimes am guilty of this myself! Rather than bludgeoning our spouses to death with our words, actions, and gossip, God has called us to support them in their shortcomings.<br />
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While the chapter reminds me of how I am supposed to be a support to James instead of being critical. The chapter actually dares me to "Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you."<br />
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Basically, if I were to tear down James to his face or to friends, I'd be tearing myself down. Sometimes we end up treating our spouse as our enemy, we don't want to do anything for them to help them. Think of this though, Romans 12:20 states, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." If we are supposed to take care of our enemy when they have needs, how much more should we be doing for our spouses who are our partners NOT our enemies!<br />
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As a team, James and I make decisions. We consult each other about everything. At times, I'll mean to not tell him something, maybe because it's something little that honestly doesn't matter, then I'll end up telling him anyway. We have an open relationship where we depend on each other's opinions and differences to help us to make the right decisions. Sometimes we give advice and the other chooses not to take it. However, the balance still remains. We advise each other but we don't boss each other around. Completing one another isn't about fixing one another, it's about being the couple that God intended for us to be.<br />
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We aren't perfect but we make plans to do things right. I decided early on in our marriage that I would never publicly tear him down or humiliate him. I succeed much more often than I fail, because I planned to do it right. He does the same, but he's even nicer. He tends to build me up and say nice things about me in front of other people. We also agreed that any big purchases would be talked about first. Though, we aren't always in agreement over the purchases each other makes. However, what we have done right is putting an importance on dialogue between us and realizing that we affect each others lives. The power of a spouse can be used to bring completion to a marriage or dissention to a marriage, the choice is yours.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-12614071577733273072011-07-27T23:04:00.000-05:002011-07-27T23:04:33.593-05:00Dare Thirty Two: SexI knew this day would come. Since The Love Dare is a book about the marriage relationship, there eventually had to be a chapter about sex. Much of marriage is emotional and intellectual, but obviously marriage is also physical. How else do you think couples get all those little people running around?<br />
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I see no reason to disclose the specifics of this dare to the world, or the intimate details of my physical relationship with my husband. Still, there is plenty to blog about.<br />
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Many women have their views of sex tainted by what the world has to say on the topic. The media makes sex out to be some cheap pleasure meant for any person, any time. Sex In the City, soap operas, and every other movie make it seem unusual for a woman to remain loyal to one man. In fact, they make it look exciting for women to be "empowered" or in control of their own sex life. Let me reassure you that this is a lie. What is empowering is the grace of God covering the life of a married woman who keeps her marriage bed pure. She is no less in control of her sex life and no less bold. She knows that sex is about love, not power, not lust, and not even about pleasure. The world says that sex is about pleasure and about the individual, but God says sex is about the oneness of marriage and about sharing genuine love. I prefer to accept the authentic version and not some cheap <place w:st="on">Hollywood</place> mimic.<br />
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I would imagine some people do not want to hear that sex is not all about them being pleased. Too bad. Selfish sex is not God's intention. Which is why it is so terrible when a woman empowers herself by holding back something that means so much to her husband. Many, many, many men receive love by physical interaction, by withholding sex women are withholding respect and love. If you are a woman who cannot understand why your relationship with your husband is so poor, yet you keep your body from your husband, then you may need to rethink your decision. The Bible says in I Corinthians 7:4, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." Basically, withholding the precious gift of sex from your husband is wrong. It causes a separation that is not intended in the marriage relationship.<br />
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It's never too late to accept the real deal and put away being selfish. Whether your sex life has been tainted by <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Hollywood</place></city>'s cheap imitations or by keeping yourself from your husband, God can renew your sex life with your husband. Sex is God's plan, not just for baby making, but also for unity. Consider me bold, but I'm going to include some Godly tips for renewing the physical relationship in marriage.<br />
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1. Pray with your husband about your sex life. God cares about every aspect of your marriage and sex in marriage is in no way shameful. Ask God to bless your sex life and He will.<br />
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2. Make time to talk. Yes, I know talking seems to have nothing to do with sex, but how can you have an authentic loving physical relationship if you do not talk to each other and know each others daily joys and pains. Talking is a very important part of intimacy.<br />
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3. Confirm your husband! Build him up. Tell him the good things he does. Praise him for being the provider, the fixer, or the strong one of the household. If you want him to act like a manly man in your physical relationship, then make sure he feels like a manly man in your marriage.<br />
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4. Accept his advances. Don't push away his arm or tell him that you are too busy. For Pete's sake, don't tell him you have a headache! As his wife, accept him, confirm him, and let him pursue you.<br />
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5. Make time to . . . yunno! Set time apart in the day or at least in the week that is made a priority. Make your physical relationship an important part of your marriage relationship.<br />
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6. Get the kids out of the bed. I know this sounds harsh, but it is so important that a man and wife have the marriage bed to themselves. Sharing on occasion is not bad, but the lack of physical intimacy caused by having children always in the bed can cause serious problems to a marriage.<br />
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Marriage and sex are God's idea. As a spouse, you must consider how to care for your husband emotionally, intellectually, and physically. For the wife that refuses to consider her husband in this manner, she is dooming her own marriage. I honestly believe this. Tend your marriage and love your husband completely.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-58666145384273821392011-07-26T21:38:00.000-05:002011-07-26T21:38:56.376-05:00Dare Thirty One: Leaving for good . . .<div style="text-align: center;">"A man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife;</div><div style="text-align: center;">and they shall become one flesh." - Genesis 2:24</div><br />
Ha, ha, I am sure I got somebody with that title. Seriously though, this chapter was about the need to leave the child-parent relationship to be joined in the wife-husband marriage. However, the first thing this chapter of the Love Dare made me think of was the expectations that James and I had for each other because of the different style homes in which we were raised. As is more and more common, we both came from homes with divorced parents. Therefore, some of our expectations were not built upon true life, but fairytales of how our homes "should have" been.<br />
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At times, I would think that James needed to say "Yes, dear" and let me do all the decorating and planning for the house. However, that's not the way James works. My expectations were that women (in particular me, because I am an Interior Designer) should have full control over the decorating decisions of the home, but James happens to care about home decor and enjoys having a say in how I put together the home. Most times, we compromise and work together, though not always without difficulty.<br />
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James came from a home where everyone was in the kitchen, ladies and men. Everyone helped with the cooking and it was a family affair. For me, I was used to no men in the kitchen, and normally, only one lady at a time in the kitchen. It took us years to work out the compromise on this one! Whenever I'd be cooking, he'd come in and start advising. Then I'd get mad and tell him to do it himself. Or he'd be cooking and ask me to come in and help. I would be upset to have to do anything when my expectations were that the cook who started it better finish it. These days, I spend a little more time in the kitchen with James and we've learned how to cook together. <br />
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So, back to the dare, "Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship."<br />
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Thankfully, we both don't really have "leaving" issues. Chaplain Park gave us a little advice when we were in pre-marital counseling. He said that it was extremely important for each of us to let go of the way our past relationships were with our parents and to realize that our new marriage relationship was more important. I really feel that having that knowledge helped us to be aware of how our relationship with our parents affected our marriage. If one of our parents said something that would cause dissention in our marriage, we have stood up for our marriage partner.<br />
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I realized a few years into marriage that when I had really exciting or really bad news I would call my mother or my friends before I would call my husband. I would let them get excited with me or let them get upset with me. I cannot be sure but I think one day in a marriage class with my old church they expressed the need to go first to our spouses with our joys and troubles. In a sense, how can we expect our spouses to have the "right" reactions if we are not giving them the full emotion of our joys and sorrows? We gave the biggest emotion to the first person we called, we gave the next biggest emotion to the second person we called, then by the time we get to our husband . . . we express our tale, but he doesn't seem to share it with empathy. Duh! The message was lost in translation!<br />
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Anyway, once I learned that this is an area to watch, I began to ask myself who I should call about things. Is this something that I should share first with my husband, or is it trivial enough that I can go to someone else first? If it's big to you, let it be big to him! When James deployed, I did rely on my family and friends for support. That's what they are there for. But I had to make an intentional effort to make communication with him a priority. I had to transfer that "first call" back to him. So be at ease, if I ever get sent to jail, I won't be calling you!<br />
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This kind of goes back to the last dare post, but my issue has not been the "leaving" as much as it is the "cleaving." However, when we realize that God does not intend for us to depend on anyone else so much as our husband, we should abandon ourselves to cleaving to our husbands for dear life. Our affections should not be stolen away by anyone or anything. I just know that I want to make my unity with James an intentional act rather than a distant consideration. When we chose each other and stood at the altar, we made a commitment and that commitment stands intentional.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-18225599565656513042011-07-24T22:48:00.001-05:002011-07-24T22:59:59.783-05:00Dare Thirty: Priority Check!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">What do I think of when I think of unity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think of the unity candle when we were married.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Symbolic, but slightly empty with so much else going on that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unity does not mean a lot in our society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The word is scarcely used yet it brings images to mind of some religious cult that says “Ohmmmm” too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once again, the definition of a word is lost due to misuse and disuse.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">According to Merriam-Webster Unity means: the state or quality of not being multiple – oneness; a condition of harmony – accord; a quality or state of being made one – unification.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not sure about you, but sometimes marriage does not feel like oneness, harmoniousness, or unification.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wants to do what he wants to do, and I want to do what I want to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do something and he gets mad, or he does something and I get mad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We tend to be unified in our decisions about Josiah, but in other things we are divided.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While God did make us two separate beings, I’m starting to understand that He has a better plan for our marriage than for us to exist outside of unity.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The dare today reads, “Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pray that He would do the same for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Let’s just be frank, sometimes the military is a huge drain on our marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband gets home late, I want to spend time with him, he is tired, and then we both feel discontented.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really do support my husband in his career, but sometimes it is hard to get the leftovers of his time day after day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a while of busy schedules and late hours, I feel completely disconnected and start to make decisions that benefit me instead of considering him as a part of my plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I may have isolated that “one area of division” in our marriage.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Even though the problem may seem like the busy schedule that is delegated by the military or by my schoolwork, the truth is it’s a mindset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get unhappy with the way things are and I disengage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hello!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I find myself drifting away from my one partner for life, the one to whom I gave my heart, my lifetime best friend, why in the world would I simply emotionally disengage from our relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That really does not sound smart, but I am going to bet that I’m not the only one who does this.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When I feel us drifting apart emotionally, when I feel the stress of our schedules begin to beat us down, when I feel like I could not care less how he spends his time, I need to press the imaginary alarm button in my mind that reads, “Priority Check!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My unity with my husband is worth turning off the television, it’s worth getting a babysitter, and it’s worth stopping everything to reconnect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When life starts to threaten the beautiful unity of my marriage, I have got to sound the alarm!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must not waste any time in tightening back the bond of marriage and it is worth <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every</i> ounce of effort.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-71839808528160174562011-07-23T21:25:00.000-05:002011-07-23T21:25:57.400-05:00Dare Twenty Nine: Love's not about meIf I don't feel loved, sometimes I don't give love. If I feel wronged, I feel justified in being a little less cordial. If I feel angry, I'll show it in a heartbeat. Honestly? My attitude is pitiful! Love is not about me.<br />
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Dare Twenty Nine: "Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person -- unconditionally, the way He loves both of you."<br />
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This dare was about recognizing that the true motivation of love is not about getting love or about maintaining a perfect marriage. Love is about God. We love each other because God first loved us. The two greatest commandments in the Bible are "Love the Lord your God" and "Love your neighbor." Even when I don't want to give love, God's love is enough that I might still give love. The motivation for love is God's call to us to love one another as He loves us.<br />
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Colossians 3:17 states, "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Even our love in marriage should be done in the name of the Lord. I am not sure if my love is always comparable to God's love, but I know that God can make it the same. God's love is unconditional. So our love, through God's love, should be unconditional towards our spouse.<br />
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Unconditional . . . regardless of whether he does something that makes me livid, regardless of whether I'm in a bad mood, regardless of whether I've had a long day, I can and must love my husband. I keep telling my son that every good and perfect gift is from above. Love is that good and perfect give and it is my job to appreciate the love that God has given me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-54546533001629653962011-07-22T21:44:00.000-05:002011-07-22T21:44:43.167-05:00Dare Twenty Eight: SacrificeToday's dare was about stepping back from my personal woes to consider the needs that my husband has in his life. Basically sacrificing my "woe is me" attitude to realize that other people, particularly my husband, have problems and needs too. Especially with our society being so focused on living for oneself, it is so easy to think about personal issues and to be self-absorbed in our own life that we forget that our husbands need us to focus on them, our children need us to consider them, and our friends and family need us to think about them. It's not all about me.<br />
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The Twenty Eighth dare asks, "What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need."<br />
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Strangely though, returning to the dare is my fulfillment of this dare. With my life being so consumed with taking care of my son, doing schoolwork, selling Mary Kay, helping out with church, and considering the future, lately I had forgotten that my first responsibility is to be my husband's helpmate. If I'm the best mother, the best student, the best Mary Kay consultant, and even the best volunteer but I neglect my husband then I'm not doing what God intended for my life. God has made me a married woman and as such, I am to be there for my husband. By recommitting to this dare, I'm making a conscious effort to put my relationship with James above all the other things that make my day busy beyond all reason. Busyness is not an excuse to put God on the backburner, and it's also no excuse to put my husband on the backburner.<br />
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My husband needs my attention, he needs my affection, he needs my support, and he needs to know that I cherish him. How is it that couples say they will cherish each other on their wedding day then spend no other day living up to those vows? Let's define cherish. According to Merriam-Webster cherish means, "to hold dear, to keep or cultivate with care and affection, to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely." How often do we let go, tear down, and dismiss our spouses? Maybe the pastor reading the vows should hand out a dictionary during the service! I want to accept my responsibility, though it means a sacrifice at times, to cherish my husband cultivating our relationship and keeping him close in my mind.<br />
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"I take thee to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-8315925101235345892011-07-21T13:53:00.000-05:002011-07-21T13:53:33.861-05:00Dare Twenty Seven: Love EncouragesIt's been a while. Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and forks and knives, and meteor showers, and honestly anything else it can possibly throw. Just when I think things are going to calm down and get back to normal, then here comes a refrigerator and maybe a 2" x 4". If I was smart, I might expect life's surprises and quit stressing out about every new happenstance. I'll let you know when I make it there.<br />
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I'm getting back on board with Dare Twenty Seven, which challenges, "Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love."<br />
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God has a way of getting me messages exactly when I need to hear them. Sometimes it comes through Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest" and today, it was through The Love Dare. The message that I heard sounded something like, "Stop being so daggone critical to your husband and give the guy a break!" Yeah. That was the message.<br />
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One phrase that really stood out to me from the chapter was, "You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations." I have so many expectations of James. Depending on the day, I might have expectations that involve him helping me with Josiah, but at times, I practically expect him to hang the moon. Really? Why do I put that kind of pressure on him? Yes, there are things that he should do, but I'm not his referee that comes in and blows the whistle whenever he makes a foul or misses the basket. I'm his wife.<br />
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As his wife, I can encourage him and build him up, but I can't make him do anything. I can't expect him to be super human, but I can expect him to be human. On human power we muddle through life, but with God's power we soar. I don't want to force him to muddle by pushing expectations on him, instead, I want him to soar by expecting God to do great things in his life.<br />
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Here's the funny thing. When I apologized to James for being critical recently, he actually told me he didn't think I was overly critical because he thought he deserved it. I was shocked! Granted, I still think I could have been nicer, but maybe I have kept my overall criticism down enough so that when the real problem occurred he could recognize why it happened. Think of it this way. If we as wives are always "crying wolf" about issues around the house and in our lives, when a real problem happens how do we express that the problem is out of the ordinary? We should keep encouragement as the norm, and exhortment (aka a nice version of criticism) as unusual enough to be important.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-45938535671610418642011-03-29T12:59:00.000-05:002011-03-29T12:59:34.057-05:00Day Twenty Six: Owning Up<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">While I am not sure why this is, I am a person who easily sees my own faults. For over half of my life I was a shy introvert who constantly felt like others could see how much of a mess I was and while I was that person, I was a mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since then, I have grown up to realize that God has plans for me despite my faults and that my past can be used for his glory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, mistakes are not always in my past and I still stumble right here and now.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Sometimes I yell at my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I yell at my kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At times I say too much when I should have bit my lip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shoot!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I commit to doing something . . . like a dare . . . and take forever to follow through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yesterday’s dare challenged me to take responsibility for my wrongdoings and ask James for forgiveness.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">"Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I could completely relate with the chapter and I often feel that I am “doing the best I can" and “he'll just have to deal with it”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of fessing up or taking responsibility, sometimes I hide behind excuses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book is clear that "love doesn't make excuses.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When I forgave James for things that I was holding against him in Dare 25, I also confessed how awful I had been lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let him in on the fact that I had been acting poorly towards him because I was not giving him the forgiveness that God calls us to give.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While this should have been a good step in the right directions, habits die hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yesterday, I lit into him for some stupid thing . . . oh yeah . . . because he wanted to make a garden trellis with expensive pipes and I thought he should use less expensive wood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The crazy thing was that I could have given him the different opinion without being awful and he may have been thankful for a new idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He ended up using my idea, but was less thankful because of how I "let him have it".</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but as a spouse I have to take hold of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to give it and I have to ask for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgiveness does not always just happen; instead it needs to be an intentional choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to intentionally give it, and I have to intentionally seek it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am human and I will make mistakes, my husband is human and he will make mistakes as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgiveness lets God be in control instead of acting like we have the power to hold things over each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides, it feels a whole lot better to let go.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-50574717493753372502011-03-26T16:13:00.000-05:002011-03-26T16:13:19.435-05:00Dare Twenty Five: The Dare Is On<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I find it surprising how much has occured within two and a half weeks that I paused the dare to remind me how much I need to really listen to The Love Dare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last week of the term was awful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was stressed and I was angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of keeping my class work as my class work and realizing my stress belonged in that area, I brought it on over into family life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kind that goes “rrraaaawwwrrrr.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My classes ended up just fine, but my attitude was no where close to fine.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">After the term finished, James, my little guy, and I took off to <place w:st="on"><city w:st="on">Gulf Shores</city>, <state w:st="on">Alabama</state></place> for two days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was convinced a vacation was just what we needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I found that if I do not let go of stress, it doesn’t let go of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took me forever to relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My goodness, I am good at holding onto things that are no good to hang on to.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The end of the vacation week, we went to go visit James’s mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really think she enjoyed seeing all of us, especially my little guy her only grandbaby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has been dealing with a lot lately, and I really was glad that we were able to take care of her for a few days and bring her a bit of joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest of the vacation went really well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James and I had tons of time to talk on the way back from <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Auburn</place></city>.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">What I really realize is how much things pile up in my heart when I do not take the time to deal with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I took a hiatus from the dare, I took a hiatus from loving my husband fully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I said I was not going to stop tending my marriage, but I let life get in the way of good intentions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dare is intended to instill lasting habits, and I let go of some of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me say, the dare is back on, and I am going to work on making these habits lasting.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Yesterday’s dare was about forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had no forgiveness lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each little offense has been building up inside of me and I honestly am convinced that if this dare had not come along, I’d be bursting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of holding on to all of that unforgiveness, God wants to loose forgiveness in my life and marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not my job to hold James accountable for his failings, nor am I to hold other peoples offenses against them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forgiveness frees them and me into God’s hands.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The dare said that “Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let it go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.””</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I even wrote a bible study on forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was about situational forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when little things such as stubbing our toes make us mad, we have to let it go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am horrible about this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find that God keeps bringing me back to things that He knows I need to let go to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to let go of my unforgiveness.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I choose to forgive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I choose to keep “no record of wrongs”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I choose to live each day as a fresh beginning rather than darkening every new sky with the rain of yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I forgive my husband for the areas in which he has failed, and realize that if I don’t forgive I’ve failed most of all.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-88601020697834256362011-03-07T08:29:00.000-06:002011-03-07T08:29:44.901-06:00Slight PauseSince I am also taking grad school classes online while doing the Love Dare, I am going to have to take a few day pause to finish up this term. This coming Sunday I will complete the first term of classes, but until then I need to concentrate on writing my research paper and not on my blog. Today marks a temporary pause in writing, but not a pause in my marriage. Consider this a "to be continued" . . .Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-3092250065949779682011-03-04T14:35:00.003-06:002011-03-04T14:53:57.091-06:00Dare Twenty Four: Love Vs Lust<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I must begin with a definition of lust because I often lose sight of how broad the subject of lust really is.</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Lust per <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.access-jesus.com/definition-of-lust.html">http://www.blogger.com/www.access-jesus.com/definition-of-lust.html</a>: The simple definition of lust is having a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience. When we are in lust, we place the object of our desire above all things in our lives. From a Christian perspective lust is bad because we are putting the object of our lust above God.</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">The Love Dare explains that “lust is in opposition to love.”</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Do I have a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A love that is not godly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I lust after food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lust after success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lust after appreciation and approval.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look to the food, the success, the appreciation and approval to fulfill me and to make me happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I expect them to do what only God can, I’m lusting after them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not placing my trust in God and I am desiring other things to bring me contentment.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The dare challenges me to “end it now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with his perfect love.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Obviously I shouldn’t remove all food, but I need to give my desire for food as fulfillment up to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Food does not satisfy but a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God says “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness for they will be filled.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love how God takes those things that we desire to make us happy and the Bible shows how God is the true fulfillment of all our needs and wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We may hunger within our body, but the hunger in our spirit is what can be truly fed and can bring us joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Food cannot be an idol, nor can it bring us fulfillment whether too much food or starving ourselves of food.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many people strive after success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe if I spent less time trying to succeed and more time seeking my Savior, I might do less trying and more . . . succeeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is ultimately in control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can lust after success or I can pursue God with all that I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must choose the later.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I am a woman and being such I lust after appreciation and approval.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tend to want approval more than I want anything else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want the new person I meet to like me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want my husband to show that he is happy with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I crave appreciation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you realize how many I’s were involved in these statements?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In light of God’s love, I must take my need for appreciation and approval and nail them to the cross.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Maybe I do not lust in the way most people think of the word lust, but when I love other things that aren’t a part of God’s plan I am lusting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lust is a very selfish thing, and I really want to learn to become more like Jesus and become selfless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must end my obsession with food, I must end my obsession with success, and I must end my obsession with approval.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is my stronghold, not these meaningless things.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-13879548064115438962011-03-02T13:25:00.003-06:002011-03-02T13:28:07.411-06:00Dare Twenty Three: Habits and Addictions<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9r_kbVHjYwjh217UvoYdO5vkQkcgOx9RuXr7o5aJ0rOITXhwyulYhfEZwlwZ_SJn4B0bK3a8HUyKgheOIrpmn0xcLu_YouKopaok10NbXteQzrKn8boveDOkFJ5N66AUN98IzE00YI3g/s1600/Swirl+bnw.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9r_kbVHjYwjh217UvoYdO5vkQkcgOx9RuXr7o5aJ0rOITXhwyulYhfEZwlwZ_SJn4B0bK3a8HUyKgheOIrpmn0xcLu_YouKopaok10NbXteQzrKn8boveDOkFJ5N66AUN98IzE00YI3g/s320/Swirl+bnw.JPG" width="276" /></a></div>I am not sure about you, but some of my habits are basically addictions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I am not addicted to drugs or alcohol nor am I tempted to look at bizarre pictures, I have habits that are just as time consuming and just as detrimental to my marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Netflix is like air for me some days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want my episodes of old sitcoms and I want them now!!!!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When the dare told me to “remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse,” I knew that I would have to give up the remote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe not permanently, but I need to reject the TV enough to show him that I am changing my habit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So far it hasn’t gone well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was exhausted last night and curled up in a ball to watch Hannah Montana on Netflix.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Part of the problem is that James and I have no joint hobbies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have nothing that we do together to spend time together besides just vegging out in front of the television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Occasionally we play a board game or play the Wii, but on a regular basis we have no hobbies that we share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of finding things that we both enjoy doing and incorporating the hobbies into our evenings, we default back to the television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is going to have to change.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Instead of my feeble attempt at not watching the television as much, I have decided to have a problem solving session tonight with James.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will work through this instead of defaulting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ll make a list of possible evening activities and start hanging out rather than being lost in the land of the tube.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of devoting our time to regarding an actor or actress, we will devote our time to each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can definitely see this as a change that is a long time coming, and will change us for a long time to come.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-86856489815210876592011-03-02T10:16:00.000-06:002011-03-02T10:16:50.715-06:00Dare Twenty Two: I love you regardless<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">To James:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you regardless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter what you do or say, you are getting love from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The love that I offered on our wedding day was not a whishy washy dependent on you type of love, I offered you a love that was unconditional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are the vows that I said on our wedding day:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0.5in 0pt 31.5pt; text-align: center;">I do take you James to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to be loyal to you, till death us do part according to God’s Holy Law.</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0.5in 0pt 31.5pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0.5in 0pt 31.5pt; text-align: center;">James, to you, I offer my life, my body, my strength, my support, and my loyalty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I offer my faith, my hope, and my love in all the changing circumstances of life as long as we both shall live.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The twenty second dare expressed that “love is a choice, not a feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say to them today in words similar to these, ‘I love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Period. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.’”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am blessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James does reciprocate my love, but not always the way that I wish he would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it feels like he’s expressing his love in Zulu while I feel that I’m expressing my love in Cupidese.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">In response to God’s unconditional love, I can give James love no matter whether he loves me “adequately” or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James’s love is not sufficient, God’s is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My love is not sufficient for James either, only God has the love that is unlike any other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I find myself looking to James for fulfillment in love, but only God can provide that to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I learn to depend on God’s love to fulfill my heart, I want to love James unconditionally with all my heart.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-54572232281226018072011-03-01T14:11:00.000-06:002011-03-01T14:11:52.193-06:00Dare Twenty One: Over Halfway Dared<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
Dare Twenty One makes me over halfway through The Love Dare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was almost celebratory, until I realized I was not eager to finish but instead I’ve been enjoying ever dare that has been thrown my way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course some of the dares have been challenging and hard, but life is challenging and hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For that matter, marriage is challenging and hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more than someone would be super excited to be halfway through with their life, or halfway through with their marriage, I am not excited to be halfway through with the dare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I am reflective.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">What really has changed since I have been taking on the dares?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband has not changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My situation has not changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mostly I have changed; my priorities have changed, and my mentality has changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather than putting marriage as the pot warming on the backburner, I have decided that the “dish of marriage” needs to have some spices added and get to boiling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of all the dishes that we work on within our life, marriage needs the most time and attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not want to wake up one morning after raising my children, completing my education, and being successful at a job realizing that my marriage was lost because I neglected it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I’ve learned most through the dare so far is that God is the God of my marriage, and God intends for my marriage to be my second priority after Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s up there!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The twenty first dare was to “be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided to begin reading Proverbs each day for a month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, I haven’t read Proverbs all the way through since I was a teen, but I learned so much when I did read it that I’d like to do it again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, I’ve begun to really make a point in praying for James each day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lets me know a few things he struggles with in his day, and I want to lift them up to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also pray for his heart for the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What could be better for a husband than to draw closer to God?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s the best at pulling us to himself in love.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">This dare is really a reminder about how God is the top priority for life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the title holder as the number one priority, time spent with God each day is a must.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More important than food, water, or even air, God is that important!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I desire to have such a hunger and thirst after Him that I cannot function in my day without filling up on his word and dousing my life in prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can do all things through God who strengthens me, and I can do nothing without Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In effect, the dare is asking me to feed myself, to breathe in air, because that is how fundamental a relationship with God is.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9179990446458502416.post-7227746458977155072011-02-27T22:06:00.001-06:002011-02-27T22:13:33.889-06:00Dare Twenty: Learning to Love Love<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH461VN9uHTHBdSzmITYTFINXsTT9_1tOJRH8qrdKz9BczeUeaifVXczTdt9M3POkIYdk1hOJqd_YhrsdIVtOFz0tZeoaXDenB0bI-S9fPiT3REX_BMMYzLBOW009zOnE-4nBfprp5U9E/s1600/Lovelove.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="96" l6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH461VN9uHTHBdSzmITYTFINXsTT9_1tOJRH8qrdKz9BczeUeaifVXczTdt9M3POkIYdk1hOJqd_YhrsdIVtOFz0tZeoaXDenB0bI-S9fPiT3REX_BMMYzLBOW009zOnE-4nBfprp5U9E/s320/Lovelove.bmp" width="320" /></a></div>I have already placed my faith in Jesus as the Lord of my life and trust in Him for my salvation, but I also realize that in accepting Him daily I must learn to love love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I John 4:16 says, “God is love,” and if I resist God at all I am resisting unconditional love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dare asked me to commit my life to God, “Dare to take God at His word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dare to pray, ‘Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you have shown your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and you have proven your power to save me from death by your resurrection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lord change my heart, and save me by your grace.’”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I do trust Jesus for my salvation, I have been sincerely asking God to change my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of keeping God locked up in a room of my heart, I want to make sure that He has free reign in me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">God has been calling me to radically change my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep feeling his draw to give up certain things for his glory and to live my life in a special way devoted to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the things that helped me see that I wasn’t fully abandoned to God’s will was the fact that I was stumbling so regularly in loving James in this dare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This past week was a rough week for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was selfish, rude, and I was not succeeding in love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I realized through the last dare and this one is that I cannot love with unconditional love if Christ does not have my whole heart in which to pour his unconditional love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">The last two lines of the song I wrote yesterday were “I’ve let go of all I’m grasping for, I’m grasping for you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The life that God has called me to live is a life devoted to grasping after Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am learning to hunger and thirst for God like I have never known before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How does this have to do with the love dare?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only love my husband fully if I know the love of God in a real way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I tip my hat to God, then go on living my life, I am not receiving God’s unconditional love that I can pour out to my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God loves me unconditionally and in response to that kind of love, I can love unconditionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t deserve that kind of love, and sometimes my wonderful yet flawed husband doesn’t deserve that kind of love, but that doesn’t stop God from loving me, and that shouldn’t stop me from loving my husband.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">- Charles Wesley</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11123512330991547999noreply@blogger.com1