I came close to failing this dare. The dare asked me to “purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just be together.” Sometimes life has responsibilities that cannot be ignored like children and schoolwork. I couldn’t exactly drop my schoolwork, nor could I just stop taking care of Josiah, so I didn’t complete the dare yesterday . . . but I did complete the dare today.
Monday’s end up being my rest up day from the weekend or my day for getting everything done for the rest of the week. However, in honor of the dare, I did not rest up and just relax all day, and I did not dive in on my schoolwork. Instead, I got ready for the day . . . and joined James in cleaning the house. Why did he want to go and clean the house on my Monday? I really did not want to clean the house today, but together we picked up our room, together we picked up the living room, and together we went through our messy cabinet in the kitchen.
The idea of the dare was taking delight in my spouse and to do something he wanted to do appreciating him while I did it. Whew! That was hard, when what he wanted to do was clean the house. I had to appreciate his determination, I had to appreciate his resolve, but I really did not want to appreciate his decision to clean. I did not delight in cleaning, but I delight in him. Where is the balance in delighting in a spouse and delighting in the things that they want to do?
When we dated, I chose to be interested in things he was interested in, but in marriage, I have begun to make a clear distinction between “Brooke likes” and “James likes”. Only, I think that the distinctions were made because I decided that I was happy just thinking about myself and what I want to do, not thinking about James and what his interests are. While I won’t be interested in everything he likes to do, I should care enough to participate and be excited about his interests. Sometimes, my lack of quality time with James is a result of me being self-centered.
I need to recognize when I am being reasonable or just being plain selfish when I am considering joining James in an activity. Honestly, I think that most times I’m just being selfish! When I am not busy with other legit tasks, I need to just ask myself, “Why not?” I’ll be an honorary “Yes (wo)man”. Maybe I’ll learn to like all the interesting yet weird hobbies that James has, if I learn to ask myself “why not” and jump at chances to spend time with him.
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