What do I think of when I think of unity? I think of the unity candle when we were married. Symbolic, but slightly empty with so much else going on that day. Unity does not mean a lot in our society. The word is scarcely used yet it brings images to mind of some religious cult that says “Ohmmmm” too much. Once again, the definition of a word is lost due to misuse and disuse.
According to Merriam-Webster Unity means: the state or quality of not being multiple – oneness; a condition of harmony – accord; a quality or state of being made one – unification. I am not sure about you, but sometimes marriage does not feel like oneness, harmoniousness, or unification. He wants to do what he wants to do, and I want to do what I want to do. I do something and he gets mad, or he does something and I get mad. We tend to be unified in our decisions about Josiah, but in other things we are divided. While God did make us two separate beings, I’m starting to understand that He has a better plan for our marriage than for us to exist outside of unity.
The dare today reads, “Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.”
Let’s just be frank, sometimes the military is a huge drain on our marriage. My husband gets home late, I want to spend time with him, he is tired, and then we both feel discontented. I really do support my husband in his career, but sometimes it is hard to get the leftovers of his time day after day. After a while of busy schedules and late hours, I feel completely disconnected and start to make decisions that benefit me instead of considering him as a part of my plans. I think I may have isolated that “one area of division” in our marriage.
Even though the problem may seem like the busy schedule that is delegated by the military or by my schoolwork, the truth is it’s a mindset. I get unhappy with the way things are and I disengage. Hello! If I find myself drifting away from my one partner for life, the one to whom I gave my heart, my lifetime best friend, why in the world would I simply emotionally disengage from our relationship? That really does not sound smart, but I am going to bet that I’m not the only one who does this.
When I feel us drifting apart emotionally, when I feel the stress of our schedules begin to beat us down, when I feel like I could not care less how he spends his time, I need to press the imaginary alarm button in my mind that reads, “Priority Check!” My unity with my husband is worth turning off the television, it’s worth getting a babysitter, and it’s worth stopping everything to reconnect. When life starts to threaten the beautiful unity of my marriage, I have got to sound the alarm! I must not waste any time in tightening back the bond of marriage and it is worth every ounce of effort.
No comments:
Post a Comment