Dare Twenty Five: The Dare Is On

I find it surprising how much has occured within two and a half weeks that I paused the dare to remind me how much I need to really listen to The Love Dare.  The last week of the term was awful.  I was stressed and I was angry.  Instead of keeping my class work as my class work and realizing my stress belonged in that area, I brought it on over into family life.  I was a bear.  The kind that goes “rrraaaawwwrrrr.”  My classes ended up just fine, but my attitude was no where close to fine.

After the term finished, James, my little guy, and I took off to Gulf Shores, Alabama for two days.  I was convinced a vacation was just what we needed.  However, I found that if I do not let go of stress, it doesn’t let go of me.  It took me forever to relax.  My goodness, I am good at holding onto things that are no good to hang on to.

The end of the vacation week, we went to go visit James’s mother.  I really think she enjoyed seeing all of us, especially my little guy her only grandbaby.  She has been dealing with a lot lately, and I really was glad that we were able to take care of her for a few days and bring her a bit of joy.  The rest of the vacation went really well.  James and I had tons of time to talk on the way back from Auburn.

What I really realize is how much things pile up in my heart when I do not take the time to deal with them.  When I took a hiatus from the dare, I took a hiatus from loving my husband fully.  I know I said I was not going to stop tending my marriage, but I let life get in the way of good intentions.  The dare is intended to instill lasting habits, and I let go of some of them.  Let me say, the dare is back on, and I am going to work on making these habits lasting.

Yesterday’s dare was about forgiveness.  I have had no forgiveness lately.  Each little offense has been building up inside of me and I honestly am convinced that if this dare had not come along, I’d be bursting.  Instead of holding on to all of that unforgiveness, God wants to loose forgiveness in my life and marriage.  It is not my job to hold James accountable for his failings, nor am I to hold other peoples offenses against them.  Forgiveness frees them and me into God’s hands.

The dare said that “Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today.  Let it go.  Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well.  Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long.  Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.””

I even wrote a bible study on forgiveness.  It was about situational forgiveness.  Even when little things such as stubbing our toes make us mad, we have to let it go.  I am horrible about this.  I find that God keeps bringing me back to things that He knows I need to let go to Him.  I need to let go of my unforgiveness.

I choose to forgive.  I choose to keep “no record of wrongs”.  I choose to live each day as a fresh beginning rather than darkening every new sky with the rain of yesterday.  I forgive my husband for the areas in which he has failed, and realize that if I don’t forgive I’ve failed most of all.