Dare Thirty Five: From Isolation to Community

I make a mistake quite often in my marriage.  I assume that my marriage is my business and that keeping others out of our trials is natural.  If I share anything, it is often out of frustration and eventually maybe out of desperation.  Blogging about the Love Dare has been a small change in the openness level about my marriage, but just because I am blogging into cyberspace does not mean I am interacting with specific individuals about the joys and trials of my marriage.

The truth?  My marriage is in isolation.

This chapter of the Love Dare is about accountability.  It challenges me to “Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and living with you.  If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.  During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.”  While that should be easy to do, my husband and I do not have a strong relationship with any other Christian couple.  Ouch!  Did I just admit that?  We know other couples in our church, great couples in our church.  However, we have been too busy to really devote ourselves to getting to know other couples.

The Bible tells us about accountability in Hebrews 3:13 “Encourage one another day after day . . .  so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”  James and I cannot be encouraged if we are not around anyone who knows what is going on in our lives and marriage.  I have friends and James has friends, but so far, our marriage has been our business.  Maybe we actually shy away from that level of deepness with others because they might see that we are human.  Oh wait, we are all human . . . rats.

Upon this realization comes a responsibility to change for the glory of God by the power of God.  I realize that if I remain unmoved and apathetic to our current state of isolation I am actually putting up a wall in an area where God can touch our marriage and lives.  God is the only one who can take down the walls that James and I have built.  We have to let people in.  Even more so, we must actually seek relationships with other couples rather than pretending that it is okay to go it alone.  Healthy conviction, advice, and encouragement need not come from a book, but instead they can come from healthy relationships between couples who are following God with all that they are.