Dare Twenty Eight: Sacrifice

Today's dare was about stepping back from my personal woes to consider the needs that my husband has in his life.  Basically sacrificing my "woe is me" attitude to realize that other people, particularly my husband, have problems and needs too.  Especially with our society being so focused on living for oneself, it is so easy to think about personal issues and to be self-absorbed in our own life that we forget that our husbands need us to focus on them, our children need us to consider them, and our friends and family need us to think about them.  It's not all about me.

The Twenty Eighth dare asks, "What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now?  Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need."

Strangely though, returning to the dare is my fulfillment of this dare.  With my life being so consumed with taking care of my son, doing schoolwork, selling Mary Kay, helping out with church, and considering the future, lately I had forgotten that my first responsibility is to be my husband's helpmate.  If I'm the best mother, the best student, the best Mary Kay consultant, and even the best volunteer but I neglect my husband then I'm not doing what God intended for my life.  God has made me a married woman and as such, I am to be there for my husband.  By recommitting to this dare, I'm making a conscious effort to put my relationship with James above all the other things that make my day busy beyond all reason.  Busyness is not an excuse to put God on the backburner, and it's also no excuse to put my husband on the backburner.

My husband needs my attention, he needs my affection, he needs my support, and he needs to know that I cherish him.  How is it that couples say they will cherish each other on their wedding day then spend no other day living up to those vows?  Let's define cherish.  According to Merriam-Webster cherish means, "to hold dear, to keep or cultivate with care and affection, to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely."  How often do we let go, tear down, and dismiss our spouses?  Maybe the pastor reading the vows should hand out a dictionary during the service!  I want to accept my responsibility, though it means a sacrifice at times, to cherish my husband cultivating our relationship and keeping him close in my mind.

"I take thee to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part."

Dare Eleven: I Cherish You

My husband’s mother had surgery for cancer yesterday.  While most of my day went by as normal, in the back of my mind I realized that my husband must really be upset today even if he isn’t showing it.  The dare yesterday was about cherishing my spouse.  “What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand?  Give a back grub or foot massage?  Is there housework you could help with?  Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.”  Cherishing James on that day meant supporting him when part of his world was a little shaky.

My husband loves his mother a ton.  She put her entire life into raising him into an outstanding person.  While James doesn’t always wear his feeling on his sleeve, as his wife, I knew he was upset about her surgery.  I can’t read him like a book, but I know his book by heart.

The need that James had was in regards to encouragement.  He needed support.  While it was simple and took little time, I wrote him a special note that let him know that I was on his side.  I would be there for him.

His mom’s surgery went well.  God has her in his hands.  While cancer is a scary thing, so is life.  We never know what tomorrow may hold, but we can trust God no matter the outcome.  James is doing well too.  He is encouraged by the good report from his mother, and I think he was encouraged to know he has his family behind him too.  Saying “I cherish you” can be as simple as letting my spouse know that no matter where he is in life, I am right there beside him.